You may feel like a pioneer, on the outskirts of Christendom evangelising the heathens, but we’ve had so many missionaries here that I doubt you have anything new to offer. You all follow the same steps, perhaps you’re taught them at Missionary School, and they seem to be the following:
Step one: Post off topic. Show total disregard for the purpose of the comments section. Better still, post the exact same thing in the comments section of several totally unrelated articles.
Step two: Make sure you give a gloss of politeness to your post.
Step three: Be sure not to actually read anything on the site, just launch your attack. Do not seek answers, and do not question your own position. You already know you’re right; either of the above would merely be matching wits with the Devil!
Step four: When you get a response, make sure you point out how puzzled you are that they are not yet totally convinced. Be sure to ask “why so much anger”. Point out the character flaws which are surely the cause of their incredulity. Do not engage any of the points raised, do not under any circumstances enter into real dialogue; then repeat your original post as if nothing else has yet been added to the discussion.
Step five: If asked a direct question, ignore it. Accuse everyone else of not answering your questions.
Step six: If they are still not convinced, repeat steps four and five.
Step seven: If anyone calls you up on any of our incoherence, poor reasoning, dishonesty or blatant lies; ignore step two. Be sure to whip yourself up into a self-righteous frenzy, bemoan the fact that all you want is an honest discussion, to share opinions. Tell them how much God loves them. Tell them they’ll spend an eternity in Hell.
Step eight: Leave, never to be heard from again, shaking the metaphorical dust from your metaphorical sandals as you go.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
If you've ever participated in a thread on religion or atheism (They're not the same thing BTW. Calling atheism a religion is like calling bald a hair color - Don Hirschberg.), you've probably seen the behavior outlined in the following comment awarded 'comment of the week' by About.com's Austin Cline: